I get up and I walk across the room  I get to the door - I've been there before  Wondering what I got up for  When all of a certain I remember  What I was going to say to you  Standing there watching my member  Hanging there squirting the loo  I'm really stoned  I'm really stoned  Permanently out my bone  I'm really stoned  I sit down on the phone I get the urge  To dump yesterday, flush it away  I hope the force is still with me  When sure enough the door flies off it's hinges  And there stands P.C. Bill Identikit  Saying "I've got trouble finding where I'm going  "Coz my backside is very badly lit  "Hello, hello, hello  "My bloody head no longer seems to fit  "Hello, hello, hello  "And you're under arrest...  ...and...'ello?"  I'm really stoned  I'm really stoned  Permanently out my bone  I'm really stoned  So come on, let go  Let your feelings show  There's something inside you  The person beside you really needs to know  Come on, change your mind  You never know what you might find  Break out the rizlas  And roll up a place to unwind  Well you can bust me once  You can bust me twice  But you'd have to top me  To finally stop me from loading my dice  'Coz I'm really stoned  I'm really stoned  Permanently out my bone  I'm really stoned  (Joan bakewell) Tart