I dream that one day i'll have a child  And that child will say to me "dad, what was war?"  But it's not going to happen    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    Oi the reason girls flirt is to work out their worth  Whereas men just hanker for the panky to happen  Retain this fact i'm hammering, this fact is gonna matter  What little you think you're letting by her sly  She senses you're near her and smells your desire  The general rule of mine, her intellect will be higher  Your task is to make her notice you fast but hanker when you don't close in after  She knows she can get most dudes but she mustn't know about you  If you screw this all up and then lose all your cool thats when she ends up liking you as a friend  You're not playing at hard to get  You're playing at not getting a hard-on yet    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    And you wanna know what, listen..    The answer is to get close enough to her but listen the next thing you just totally blank her  You think i'm fucking mad don't ya but i don't shag on my own  Get somewhere close to the lamb but then glance and turn to the man  You need to get near to the lamb but she doesn't want to feel cramped  Instead of cowering up to the hostile lamb bowl up to the trusting man  It's much easier talking to him, he doesn't suspect you want anything    Just tell him something like  Did you know cigarette lighters were invented before matches?  It's abc making a he break with glee  'Cos he isn't suspicious you're trying to muscle into his misses  Do you know what i'm talking about that's why i'm talking about    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    The woman is a highly socially-practised  Master in body language, dab-handed actress  She's calculating all the mad facts and the figures  While you're pretending to listen staring at her tits    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    Elementary, my dear cousin, elementary  I cannot state this enough  She must not clock your flop  You can't placard your march  Your threws seclude your moves  Or you're colluding well weapon    It's a war of the sexes never get it blud  I beg that you learn 'cause she's clever  How attracted to you she is is partly your gab  But it's multiplied by how little of you she can have    And remember not to get hammered either  'Cause people who get hammered don't get to nail