[Dialogue intro]  You know old friend  We've been together for a long long time  We've eaten ice cream  Played little league  Smoked our first cigarette together.  But there's something I have to tell you  It's really important that I tell you now  Before you hear it from someone else  So I hope, it's okay with you?…    I love your mom  And I don't care who knows  She looks good in her fishnet pantyhose.  I love your mom  Yeah it's the truth  We once got busy in a telephone booth.    Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad  Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad    I love your mom  Yeah the rumors are true  We've been going out for about a year or two.  I love your mom  Yeah she gives good head  I'm sorry to say we've done it in your bed.    Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad  Don't get upset  At least I haven't done your sister yet.    [solo]    Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad  Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad  Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad  Don't be so sad  I'll let you call me dad dad dad