On the day that Crazy Tony  Shaved off all his hair  He swore he would get a tattoo  So we drove downtown in dad's company car  Parked at the parlor near the Philly Zoo  He asked the man for a life-size AC outlet  Tattooed on the back of his head  But the power went down  Just as he picked up his needle  We spent the money on drugs instead  Hey Mister Twister, what you got for sale  Where's the stuff you sold my sister  When she last jumped bail  She was high on speed and Hawaiian sinse  We had to peel her off the back  Of the backstop fence  Just as she was on the verge of  Losing it completely  She came down to us and whispered sweetly  She whispered,  "mm stad, stada, mm stad stada, stad"  He sold us sixteen doses, pictures of the King  Went tripping by the riverside  We were underneath the bridge  Launching Roman candles  From a bottle of Banker's Club Rye  But then greasy Tony got busted  He was half-baked and thoroughly stoned  Took off all his clothes  Except his socks and his sneakers  Screamin' at the top of his lungs  And for a minute, I thought he couldn't make it  Then the car stopped up on the bridge  Sayin' isn't it a pity, but that's what happens  When you take too many drugs  At such a tender age  He was all strung out on Dexatrim and doses  And he walked into the water like Holy Moses  We're singing, "Holy Moses, Holy Moses yeah"  "So dang me dang me,  Take a rope and hang me"  If I go back to that one horse town  Can't you see how much I promised  On the second hand news  If I lose I can't face the deflation  I'm living on credit  Trading on lies  And walking in the boots of persuasion