Hello, I'm Dr. Greenthumb   Have you ever had the problem of running out of weed   and just can't find some anywhere?   Well try my Dr. Greenthumb grow tips   I'll show you how to grow inside and out   From seed to clone, and the best homegrown   And if you're afraid of those pesky pork choppers in the sky   No worries, we'll fix them too   with one of our Dr. Greenthumb 'Sizzlean' screens   to block the nosy pig's vision   Don't believe me?   Just ask one of my many satisfied clients here Jed Sanders   how well it works      Hyuh, hyuh, hello mah name is Jaid   And ahm a farmer and I've been growin   mary-jah-wana fer about twenty years and uhh   uhh, with Dr. Greenthumb's 'Sizzlean' screen   I don't hafta point my shotgun   at them pesky porkers no more   Thanks Dr. Green, you're tha shit      Yes, Dr. Greenthumb's got it all, I guarantee it   Try my book and you'll have the chronic in no time   *lighter flicks* Dial 1-800-713-GROW   *inhaling noise* That's 1-800 *cough cough* *inhale*   *lighter flicks* 713 *cough cough*   G *inhale* R *inhale* O-W      "Hello Dr. Greenthumb, paging Dr. Greenthumb!"      [B-Real]   Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb   I'd like to tell you just where I'm from   In the hills where the trees grow wild with weed fields   The fucking pigs with shields holding the blue steels   Greenhouse effect with the weed connect   (Doctor) DEA can't keep Greenthumb in check (Doctor!)   HPS, God Bless the whole crop   Please God, don't let me see no cops   Trunkload, ready to hit the highway   Don't let the eye in the sky fly my way   or we gonna have big trouble, that's no shit   Can't be growin without no permit   but fuck that, I study the 215 trip   That way when they come they can suck my dick   Weed can't grow without attention   Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb      Chorus:      [B-Real] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb   [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb!   [B-Real] I'd like to tell you just where I'm from   [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb   [B-Real] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb   [SenDog] Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb!   [B-Real] I'd like to tell you just where I'm from   [SenDog] Aiyyo Dr. Greenthumb, come on back one time!      [B-Real]   People can't live without the herb man   If not they'd be drinkin and drivin and swervin   but thanks to Dr. Greenthumb weed grow   in the backyard or inside with hydro   To the cush plant brushin a tangerine dream   Tasty, blowin a fuckin smokescreen   Cycles of weed are constantly grown   Somebody give me the razor to cut groves   I'd like to stop, but it feels so good   Horny plants stinkin up my whole neighborhood   Sticky angel, I wanna leave it alone   but never ever ever got a warrant for my home   What that funny sound knockin at the door (Open up it's the DEA!)   Sorry Greenthumb can't talk no more   Please don't follow me into the sun   Hello my name is Dr. Greenthumb      Chorus 1/2      [B-Real]   Out from the lab, no need for rehab   If I can't drive then call me a cab (ese!)   In my closet the weed is dried out   Like Eiht said, ain't no place to hide out   I don't wanna buy no weed from no cop   Get locked up and they close up my shop   That's why I buy no weed from no one   That's why they call me Dr. Greenthumb   The scientifical, mystical one   Growin my crops with the rays of the sun   Come one come all and see how it's done   If you see the pigs there's no need to run   Cause some of these pigs are down with Greenthumb   But you never know what be the outcome   You see the photo in the album   The weed is growin like my erection   Look I never told you where I was from   Some call me Real, but I'm Dr. Greenthumb      Chorus      Dr. Greenthumb   Doctor, your Bulova plant needs special tending to   Doctor, we need more oxygen we need more CO2   Doctor, Dr. Greenthumb you're needed   Doctor, dahyahahahhh... Doctor