A little mix of the old shit   Somethin' for you to knock down the block to   Juggalo Love.....      (Violent J)   Woboogawoo WAAA!! Welcome to the house of horrors   You born in a barn? Shut the fuckin door   You see, damn, cause I'm about to scare you   ...Okay now I dare you   Close your eyes, open up your mouth, and count to ten   Don't wanna, huh, cause you know my nuts are going in   I'm twisted, I'll cut your finger off,   and stick it in your butt   ...and glue it shut   This is when I get crazy, lemme show you something   ...You know what that means, it don't mean nothin, haha   But it scares you cause people don't be doing that shit   But me...bitch...I'm all about it...   Guess what I'm a serial killer, it's a bad habit   I killed Tony, Lucky Charms, and the Silly Rabbit,   Cut the lights, see that shit, I'm glowing   Alright, I'm done, cut em back on, wait, where you going?   Welcome to the house of horrors      (Shaggy 2 Dope)   La di da we gotta protest that   Some rock and roll ninja bit the head off a rat   Let's march in his concert and chant him to hell   Cause he's so fuckin TERRIBLE!   Meanwhile his record sells double and triple   Cause of you whinin bout him rubbin his nipple   Religious? Shit, you helped them bands   Instead of helpin them poor people   eatin outta them garbage cans   When your done with that bitch come protest me   Shiiiiit motherfucka I could use the money   The whole world was cryin when Kurt went kabang   When Eazy-E died no it wasn't no thang   Rapper dies of AIDS but you hardly mention   Rocker blows his face off and becomes a legend   Heroin and a shot gun and a hero was made   Maybe I should do that shit so J can get paid      If I was your tv I'd be like, look at me   If I was shooting star I be like shooooom   If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like hell nah   If I was a hotties thong I'd be like ahh   If I was a cuss word I'd just be like, fuck   If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin like sup   If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit   If I was the DOC I'd be like "man this is bull shit"   If I was your tires on your car I'd be like...   If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like ahh fuck   If I was a balloon I'd be like....   If I was Alyssa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce   If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say, point 103   If I was a richie ass bitch I'd be like, um ok   If I was Spin magazine I'd put a mirror on the cover   and be like fuck us and all our readers, even this motherfucker   If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up   If I was your headaches every now and then   I'd be like thuuummmp   If I was your tounge I'd be hatin' your teeth I'd be like   Ah why do you always bite me every time we eat?   If I was a chair I'd be like sit here   and if I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair   If I was your muffler I'd be like shhh quietly   Iif I was a price tag I'd be like you ain't buyin me   If I was a fresh DJ I'd be like...   If I was Jam Master J I'd be like...   If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like...   If I was Barry White I'd be like what up ya'll   I I was a nipple in the cold I'd be like...   If I was your dead uncle I'd be like...   If I was a rain drop I'd just be like....   and I was an axe in your neck I might say chop      Hey Mike, Mike, MIKE!   Turn it up, right about now   Welcome everyone to the big show   Jake and Jack, and the dark carnival   Remove your hats or we'll cut off your heads   Show respect you's amongst the dead   Don't like bigots and richy boy fucks   Ain't shit changed bitch check nuts   Detroit, Southwest murderers die   The greatest spectacle under the sky      (Violent J)   Five cards came and made they mark   From moon you gone down Patton Park   Fuck your drum kits, xylophone, cello   I'm a wicked clown bitch hello      Everbody come jump in our ride   Bring you and your fat ass bitch inside   Wagons, tents are swift as a breeze   Can't nobody get with these, motha fucka   BRING IT ON!      (Chorus)   Bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it   Bring it, bring it      (Violent J)   Violent J, Shaggy 2 Dope serial killers with style   Fashion of the 2000s and beyond      Voodoo, chicken and magical wands      "Let's meet contestant number one.He's a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown, who says, "woman love his sexy smile"   Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?"      "Contestant number one,I believe first impressions last forever. So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family. Tell me what you would do to make that first impression really stick"      (Violent J)   Let's see, hmm, well, I'd have to think about it   I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it   I'd probably just show up naked like I always do   And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!"   Hurry up bitch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti   I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"   Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed   I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!   It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother   I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother   I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this   You know for only thirteen, she got some big tits   After that, your dad will try to jump again   And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin   After you mom does the dishes and the silverware   I'd try fuck her till I nut in my underwear         (Shaggy 2 Dope)   The second little piggy, his house is made of brick   And this little piggy is a motherfucking dick   He sits on his bench and get's all the respect   But if I get a chance, I'm going straight for the neck   He walked in the room, and everybody rose   Lopped off bucket chilling underneath my clothes   First they let the piggy, now you can finally sit   But what this piggy don't know   Is he's about to get his neck wet   Now I seen the bailiff, I'm thinking what the fuck?   I can smoke this room before his hearing aid   Will pick it up   Old-ass man, I let him get away   That tired motherfucker will probably die tomorrow anyway   Here come the piggy, it's time for my case   His eyes are blood red with a wicked looking face   He saw my joker's smile, and sentenced me to die   So I racked on the bucket, made it fucking rain pork rinds      (Chorus)   Three little piggies to make that piggy pie   There's nothing like the sound when you hear a piggy die   I might choose a gun (no!)   I might choose an ax (yes!)   The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks      My axe is my buddy, I bring him when I walk   Me and my axe will leave your head outlined in chalk   My axe is my buddy, he always makes me laugh   Me and my axe cut bigot spinal cords in half   My axe is my buddy, and when I wind him back   Me and my axe will give your forehead a buttcrack   My axe is my buddy, I never leave without him   Me and my axe will leave your neck a bloody fountain      (Chorus 2x)   Everybody everybody everybody run   Murdering murdering murdering fun   Swing swing swing   Chop chop chop   Swing swing swing   Chop chop chop      My axe is my buddy, we right the planet's wrongs   Me and my axe leave bigots dead on richie lawns   My axe is my buddy, he never makes me cry   Me and my axe will leave a divot for your eye