Ladies and gentlemen   The host of phat, uhh, Phat or Wack?   Uhh your friend and mine   Bink Chipperwink (Applause)   Hello everybody   I'm Bink Chipperwink   And this is Phat or Wack!   The rules are simple   Each one of our teams will play music   From their upcoming album   And the studio audience will judge by applause   Now let's meet our contestants   Team number 1 from the Southwest side of Detroit   They are Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope   The Insane Clown Posse (Boo!)   And team number 2 from the East side of Detroit   They are Jamie Madrox and the Monoxide Child   Twiztid (Boo!)   Now let's play Phat or Wack   Alright team number 1 first   The Insane Clown Posse, are you ready?   Yeah, yeah I'm ready Bink, we ready   What song are you gonna play for us?   Terrible, naww umm   Fuck the world, yeah yeah   Uhh, Bink Fuck the World, yup   Ladies and gentlemen   This is Insane Clown Posse Fuck the World   It's your turn to judge   Phat or Wack?         Fuck, fuck that shit   Fuck give it to me   If I only could I'd set the world on fire (x3)   Say fuck the world    FUCK THE WORLD!   Fuck 'em all   FUCK 'EM ALL   Fuck you, fuck me, fuck us   Fuck Tom, fuck Mary, fuck Gus   Fuck Dairius   Fuck the West coast   And fuck everybody on the East   Eat shit and die   Or fuck off at least   Fuck pre-schoolers, fuck rulers   Kings and queens and gold jewelers   Fuck wine coolers   Fuck chickens, fuck ducks   Everybody in your crew sucks   Punk muthafucks   Fuck critics, fuck your review   Even if you like me, FUCK YOU!   Fuck your Mom, fuck your Mom's Mama   Fuck the Beastie Boys and the Daili Llama   Fuck the rain forest, fuck a Forest Gump   You probably like it in the rump   Fuck a shoe pump   Fuck the real deal   And fuck all the fakes   Fuck all 52 states, oooh   And fuck...         (Buzz) Well, that sound means that your time is out   Ladies and gentlemen of the audience   If you thought was phat let's hear a round of applause   (Crickets chirp)   Ewww, I'm sorry   Well, that could mean only one thing   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   (Applause)   Ok we're gonna move right along here   Team number 2, Twiztid   Are you gentlemen ready?   Yeah we straight   Ok what's your first selection for us today?   Hey, hey man they just hoed my shit   Fuck the World was the shit   Diemuthafuckadie   Naww, uh uh   We gonna come with 2nd Hand sec, this on?   2nd Hand Smoke, yeah yeah 2nd Hand Smoke   Alright ladies and gentlemen prepare yourself   This is Twiztid, 2nd Hand Smoke   You be the judge   Phat or Wack?         Free your mind   I represent the East side, no peace   Fuck the police   We tell you to increase the deceased at least   A grown man tellin you something that he believe   Practice to deceive, no more tricks up my sleeve   What the fuck bitch, chuck bitch   Why you talkin shit?   Better duck bitch   Before your dome get hit   This shit is Twiztid deeper than that Old French braid   Stickier than jam and jelly phased, kick it   Everybody else real talkin bout something   What you thought you heard bitch,   Can it, cause your frontin   Dead wrong   Dinner table conversations   Leavin' you pistol-whipped in the corner with abrasions   Part of the contamination of Mind State   Sleep in a dream, hopin it's gone when I awake   Mama think I'm a play on play serial killa   Fruitloop biting my mind like Godzilla   We survive like catapillas in cocoons and caskets   Stretch the industry like elastic   So fantastic, like the Newport cigarette that I smoke   Hit the motherfucka till I choke   I brag and I boast about nothin   Death, dying, and hoes fuckin   So understand that he's saying something   Never be heard I'm underground with the dirt and grime   Smashin heads be my reason for rhyme   I'm on time like a motherfucka   Leavin you hangin in the forest   Standin in some comfortable shifts like Chuck Norris   Check the chorus   Second hand smoke when you breath   Remember what I told you always believe   You relieve on the Monoxide Child and wild   Travel the world on nine cloud screaming loud   Free your mind   Breath it in second hand smoke   Free your mind   Breath it in second hand smoke   You phony bitches wanna shut...         (Buzz)   Oh times up   Audience Phat or Wack?   Applause please   (One clap, then wind blowing)   Ohh I'm sorry   It seems that this audience also feels   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   Personally I think they both suck   (Applause)   Ok back to contestants number 1   Uhh hopefully this time gentlemen   You'll come with somethin   A little more likable for me and the audience   (They fuckin suck)   Are you ready?   Yeah man c'mon   Yeah we ready fat bitch   What's the name of your selection?   Uhh hold on hold on uhh I have the bomb shit dawg   The Shaggy Show, can't fail   That's wack dawg   Aight then what?   Mufuckin Terrible...   Aight hey we want you to play uhh Terrible, Bink   Here it is, Insane Clown Posse, Terrible   Phat or Wack?         Muthafucka   You don't know shit do ya?   You wouldn't know shit   If it ripped into your ugly bitch ass face   You ain't even begun to expierence drama muthafucka Your Mama   Your muthafuckin big fat chicken faced assed Mama   Don't even know about this drama, muthafucka   Oh my god look at that, turn it up please   Poor Nancy Kerrigan's sweet little knees   Somebody took a black thing and went thump   That's terrible we heard about it for months   What about that one nobody guy that they found   Dead in the grass   With his dick in his ass   Unless there was more   But you won't recall   Cause Michael Jackson squeezed up   On some little kids balls   What you consider DRAMA   Ain't all that   It's just that your wack   With your intergalactic satellite data compress   Yes, but we can't feed the homeless   And then OJ's wack story unfolded   Everybody watched that while Okalahoma exploded   900 good reasons why this world don't really care   Thats what it costs for a wheel chair!   What you know bout terrible?   Terrible, you don't know what's terrible   Terrible, what you know bout terrible?   Terrible, you don't know what's terrible...      (Buzz)   There's the buzzer   Audience Phat or Wack?   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   Ohh you guys fuckin suck   Your momma sucks my dick   Ok we'll move back over here to team number 2   Twiztid are you ready?   Man fuck you we ready   Do you have a song selected?   Yeah we got a song   What you wanna go with   Man it don't matter   This muthafucka (They booing everything)   Yeah that's what I'm sayin   Rock the Dead, fuck it   Bink bitch   Bink bitch   Fuck you   This is Twiztid Rock the Dead   Phat or Wack?         Wake up, float to the sky   Bring the wicked shit and the dead will arise   Wake up, float to the sky   Bring the wicked shit and the dead will arise   Come on   Space and beyond   Mind dumpin in the yard   I stoles your headstone from your grave plot   Conscience and confused   Seen tomorrows dreams on tonights news   Fallin through a hole in the sky   Will I die?   You know the time multiplied with this life, love, and lies   Steppin in the darkness   Walkin through my conscience   Like an android I remain heartless   Underground, and mental know me well   Bring it to the white lights of the depths of Hell   Walk through the time flux hand and hand with clear mind   Chords are harmonious like the rhythm of windchimes   Peel back the rhyme and examine the fruit   Rotten to the core buried in they best suits   Maggots crawling on they face,   Eyes sunk in they head   Throw your fuckin arms up and rock the dead   Wake up, float to the sky   Bring the wicked shit and the dead will arise   Wake up, float to the sky   Bring the wicked shit and the dead will arise   Come on   Got me a mic, and now we ache like the dead   And all we wanna do is rock the dead   So many thoughts runnin all through my head   But the only one that's clear is rock the...         (Buzz)   Time's up   Ladies and gentlemen   Phat or Wack?   (Silence)   Ohh as that was some sort of surprise   This audience feels   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   Ok we're gonna mosey on back over to team number 1   The Insane Clown Posse   Fella's are you ready?   Yeah, yeah we ready   But I want uhh everyone in the studio audience   To know y'all can suck my dick!   That's great, but uhh save the drama for your momma   Man I'm bout to bring the drama to your muthafuckin chin   Punk ass bitch   I'm scared, bring it   Now this is your last chance   Do you have a selection ready?   Man fuck it   Let's hit em up with Another Love Song   Yeah they'll probably like the pussy shit   Uhh Another Love Song bitch   Ok ladies and gentlemen   This is Insane Clown Posse Another Love Song   Phat or Wack?         Yeah, I mean I hear what your sayin   I mean you got carried away in the moment   And I could forgive you...I could do that   I could do anything if I wanted to   I could buy you a Lexus Truck   With a white leather interior (I could)   I could kill off some bears and dogs and shit   Just to make you a fur coat   I could love you and treat you with class (Oh yeah)   And have babies fallin all out your ass   But thinkin about that   I feel I'd rather kill you   Cause I got you in my car   You ain't goin no were bitch your dead   I'd rather cut that neck in half   I'd rather choke out that bitch ass   I'd rather chop and never stop   Because you fucked my homie   I'd rather cut that neck in half   I'd rather choke out that bitch ass   I'd rather chop and never stop   Because you fucked my homie...         (Buzz)   Well that was a good song, (Fart) Not   Well audience you built the casket   Time to nail it shut   Phat or Wack?   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   Well that's gonna do it for Insane Clown Posse It's time for you guys to hit the door   Cause you're definitely wack   Man fuck you, fuck the show, fuck the audience (Ok)   All y'all can fuck off   Man fuck y'all   Yo Jeckel Brothers out May 25th juggalos   Yeah, yeah, yeah   Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off   Alright don't let the door hit you on the ass   We've seen it all before   People come here so eager   And leave so bitter (Hahaha)   On to team number 2   Ok Twiztid here's your last chance   Are you ready?   Man we should fuck you up   Negative muthafucka   What's the selection you're gonna play?   Uhh we got whatthefuck   Umm there's a few but I'm tellin you man   There's crazy booin, crazy   I'm like it don't matter   How does it feel? Bink bitch   How does it feel?   It probably feels wack   Ladies and gentlemen   How does it feel?   Phat or Wack?         How does it feel to be you   How does it feel to feel the way you do   It's so decisive   And I don't care if you like or you hate me   I know you muthafuckas bout to underrate me   How does it feel to be you   How does it feel to feel the way you do   It's so decisive   And I don't care if you like or you hate me   I know you muthafuckas bout to underrate me   You label me a paranoid schizophrenic   Known on this planet for 2 things   Talkin shit and automatic   Mind gets transferred in little walks through the woods   Bury you alive if I could   Robin through the hood with a body in the trunk   Unidentified because he's known as a chump   I hear him keep talking junk in my ear   But nobody else can hear   I look around and I'm feeling weird   Palms are sweaty I'm about to black out   Last chance but nothing could stop this Twiztid sprout   I'm all about mad cussing   Fuck you and the red Martian   Peon wrecking and skull crushing   Turning bitches to dust and when I recite you folks die   Like I creep in the night, I let your soul fly   So high that I never touch ground   Make it so your bodies never found   Another Unsolved Mystery   Looking for some nobody   Every single night on TV   Try to get me to see   My eyes closed and rolled back   Holdin a thought deep in my mind about a car jack   Another break down in the middle of the street   People just kept moving they feet   Treat me like a freak, so how am supposed to act   So when you see me muthafucka...         (Buzz)   There's the buzzer   Audience how did that feel?   THAT SHIT WAS WACK!   Tell me about it   Twiztid beat it (Man you beat it)   Get the hell outta here (Naww fuck that)   We been here all day   Three strikes and your out   June 22nd fool Twiztid Mostasteless   Yeah I know, go ahead   Yeah you know, you don't know nuthin bitch   Let the door close   Ok ladies and gentlemen   We're not gonna leave you with all that wackness   So as the credits roll   We'd like you to enjoy   The all time grand champion Danny K   Now this is what real music is about   Until next time   I'm Burt Chipperwolf   And this has been Phat or Wack   (Some wack rapping)   Promotional consideration paid for   By Island slash Psychopathic   If for any reason you should care for or like   One of the groups that was wack   Might I suggest you go pick up one of their albums   The Insane Clown Posse uhh   Entitled the Amazing Jeckel Brothers   Which will be in stores nationwide May 25th   Or Twiztid Mostasteless   Which will be in stores nationwide June 22nd   As always we'd like to thank you for your   Participation in watching this fine television program That's copyright 1999