Had a crush on Santa   Since I was 9 years old   But oh Santa   Why do you go?      Once a year you come visit me   Eat my cookies, leave presents the same old routine   But now Santa I want something more   No presents all that this girl's askin' for      Santa sleep with me tonight   I read these words in her diary   An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy   I shouldn't have but I'm glad I did      Wonder what does she see in him   A big old tub of jelly   With a double chin   He's older than my grandmother      Indeed this fetish is really bizarre   Sexual attraction for this holiday star   I gotta plan that you wouldn't believe   But I've gotta act like it's Christmas eve      Santa's suit is what I will get   And give my girlfriend a night   That she'll never forget   And neither will I      Went through my closet and found a red robe   Made a beard out of cotton   Stuffed my shirt with pillows   And drove to my girl's house      I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay   Saw Santa and my girl in red lingerie   And in between all the moans and groans   I heard her say oh Santa, oh Santa      She said Santa I miss you, I love you   I wish you would stay home forever with me   Santa I knew you were coming to town   But tonight you are coming in me      Santa, get off of my girlfriend   Get off of my girlfriend