As martin said to xanthe   As they played with wooden toys   "you may have wendy's playhouse   But where the heel's your boys? "   As paul said to fifi   As they eyed each other up   "you may have better plimsoles   But you can't pee standing up"      And I'd like to take the time to bite   Their neck and make it bleed   Or maybe I could cut holes in their   Daddy's harris tweed      And I can't put my finger on it   Maybe it's something in their food   And I cna't put my finger on it   All I know is christ would've sued      As sharon said to jamie   As they sat down for a chat   "if you think I'm cooking dinner   Well, prepare to eat dead rat"      As debbie said to alex   As they held hands in the park   "how come you wear rupert check   When you think you're so hard"      I should've done his land rover   To let him know I'd been   Instead I wrote "f' off"   On the dirt across his screen      And I can't put my finger on it   Maybe it's something in their food   And I cna't put my finger on it   All I know is christ would've sued      I wish I'd let them know that I was here   A drop of arsenic in the wine   Sulphuric acid in the beer