i count up all the times. i've been through this before but not so bad.    i'm living in a lie. and the worst part is to know that i'm not right.    and through these times i know you're with me, but something's got to change.    i tell myself to let it go. then i don't. i cannot hide when honesty says i've lied.    regretfull and wondering why you heal me deep inside.    and whisper to me, "it's gonna be ok".    i'm gonna be ok. you're right here with me.    here with me. you teach me. complicate the lie.    our wounds that darken almost daily. and all the time i heard a voice say,    "better won't come until i change me." then something moved inside.    teach me your will for my life. this choice is mine. i'll follow you all the time.    and do what i know is right, when i can't find my mind.    everything will be ok,    but everything won't be the same. and that's all right.