Wake up Major and stitch on your hat   You fell out of bed and then you landed in the cash   So what's in your diary today?   Call on your main man, what can he do for you?   Hang out with stupid, so you can tell him what to do   Major this is your day      Living alone in a jar   Never gets you very far      He can read your mind, make you feel alright   Sgt. Major knows what you want   He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star   Yeah, the Major knows what you want      Take out your paper, throw it away   Everything is useless, ain't got a lot to say   Major, this is your way   The Major is drowning 'cause he opened his mouth   He starts to explain it but nothing's coming out   Major, what can you say?      Hope that you like who you are   'Cause living alone in a jar never gets you very far      He can read your mind, make you feel alright   Sgt. Major knows what you want   He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star   Yeah, the Major knows what you want      I know you think that you made it   I know what I'm meant to say   But while you looked in the mirror I was getting away   To you there is nothing to say      He can read your mind, make you feel alright   Sgt. Major knows what you want   He knows what you are, one day you'll be a star   Yeah, the Major knows what you want