It's nine o'clock in the Chinese Take-Away   And I blame the effects on the Gamma Ray, the Gamma Ray   Well, losing out on Mah Jong   I set my watch to Hong Kong      I blame it all on the Gamma Ray   I hear the Triad has crossed the Tong   In Indianapolis, home of the Gamma Ray   The deadly Gamma Ray, the deadly Gamma Ray      And there ain't no guest list tonight at the Memorial Hall   Cher got in 'cos she's so thin   And even Evil Knievel tried to wheedle      No, the deadly Gamma Ray, the Gamma Ray   I blame it all on the Gamma Ray   Know why, you know why? The Gamma Ray      I hear there's entry only to those with green hair   In the next World's Fair because of the Gamma Ray   Yeah, I hear there's panic buying of shampoo      And those little pots of goo   You know why, you know why   All because of the Gamma Ray      When Alan McGhee went to Dundee   He caused all the rock groups to flee   Yeah, I read it in the N.M.E.   It was the Gamma Ray      The Chief Brigadier's head began to swell   Firing off depleted uranium shells   He bombarded everything pretty well   Except for the Gamma Ray      Blow it all away      And then the Gamma Ray seemed to say   If you carry twelve margaritas on a tray   You cannot be touched in anyway   By the benign, yet malevolent      Mark two chrome, Gamma, Gamma, Gamma   Gamma, Gamma, Gamma, Gamma Ray   Gamma, Gamma, Gamma, Gamma   Mama, mama, mama, mama, mama ray      So, let's go back to Indianapolis, oh, Indianapolis   Yeah, Indianapolis, Indianapolis   Let's go back to Indianapolis   Because it's the home of the Gamma Ray      Sure, I'm gettin' on a train right now   I'm outta here