This is what you give me to work with   Well, honey, I've seen worse   We're going to turn this sow's ear   Into a silk purse      We'll have you washed and dried   Primped and polished till you glow with pride   Trust my recipe for instant bride   You'll bring honor to us all      Wait and see, when we're through   Boys will gladly go to war for you   With great fortune and a great hairdo   You'll bring honor to us all      A girl can bring her family   Great honor in one way   By striking a good match   And this could be that day      Men want girls with good taste   Calm, obedient, who work fast paced   With good breeding and a tiny waist   You'll bring honor to us all      We all must serve our Emperor   Who guards us from the Huns   A man by bearing arms   A girl by bearing sons      When we're through, you can't fail   Like a lotus blossom soft and pale   How could any fellow say "No sale"   You'll bring honor to us all      There, you're ready   Not yet   An apple for serenity   A pendant for balance      Beads of jade for beauty   You must proudly show it   Now add a cricket, just for luck   And even you can't blow it      Ancestors, hear my plea   Help me not to make a fool of me   And to not uproot my family tree   Keep my father standing tall      Scarier than the undertaker   We are meeting a matchmaker   Destiny, guard our girls   And our future as it fast unfurls   Please look kindly on these cultured pearls   Each a perfect porcelain doll      Please, bring honor to us   Please, bring honor to us   Please, bring honor to us   Please, bring honor to us   Please, bring honor to us all