Spivy leeks was a drip of a man   I met him washing dishes in a local cafe   And he told me if...were fishes   He'd steal all their scales and he ... away      Spivy leeks was an introvert   Like a broken radio   He'd make your day real long   An end result, ... time he looked up women's skirt   Just trying to figure out what was right from what was wrong      He was looking for jesus in all the wrong places   There in my hole, save his soul   Spivy leeks, it's time to go home      Spivy leeks was an odd looking man   He looks just like a pool table   Shoved into jeans   And he thought that he possessed a secret power   And no matter what he did, he would be redeemed      Spivy leeks lived at the local 7-11   He looked at dirty magazines most everyday   He studied those pictures like he studied the bible   He thought that they were angels and that he'd been saved      He was looking for jesus in all the wrong places   There in my hole, save his soul   Spivy leeks, it's time to go home      Spivy leeks robbed a liquor store   Instead of a gun, he used a candy bar   He told the cashiers that he was their saviour   But his holyness,   His holyness and his baby ruth didn't get him very far      Spivy leeks died a glorious death   Down on main street   It was quite a public site   And as mr. sheriff man was about to   Blow him to pieces   He said "halejuhah, I'm coming home tonight."