Welcome to the family   Hope you have a real good life   With my little sister   Yeah, she'll make a real good wife   Hope you have lots of babies   Hope you get a real job   Hope you don't mind company   'Cause we'll be there alot   And brother here's some brotherly advice   If you know what's good for you you'll treat her right ('Cause)      [Chorus:]   'Cause grandpa's the local sherrif   Yeah he's the judge and the jury too   Uncle Bill's the undertaker, son   He'll dig a hole for you   Cousin Jesse, he's just crazy   He'll fight you just for fun   Mama's got a real bad temper   And daddy's got a shotgun      Welcome to the family   And this side of the tracks   If you ever leave her   You ain't coming back    My nephew Red's a hunter   He's gonna hunt you down   Just like he did the last one   And he still ain't been found   Now I like you just fine, don't get me wrong   But bot take care of her 'cause if you don't      [Chorus Twice]      Welcome to the family   Hope you have a real good life   With my little sister   Yeah she'll make a real good wife