Garden party held today   Invites call the debs to play   Social climbers polish ladders   Wayward sons again have fathers   "Hello, dad!", "Hello, dad!"      Edgy eggs and queuing cumbers   Rudely wakened from their slumbers   Time has come again for slaughter   On the lawns by still "Cam" waters   It's a slaughter, it's a slaughter      Champagne corks are firing at the sun, again   Swooping swallows chased by violins again   Strafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again   Oh God   Oh God not again      Aperitifs consumed en masse   Display their owners on the grass   Couples loiter in the cloisters   Social leeches quoting Chaucer      Doctor's son a parson's daughter   Where why not and should they oughta   Please don't lie upon the grass   Unless accompanied by a fellow      {May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello}      Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say   Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say   Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say   They say   Good God they say      I'm punting   I'm beagling   I'm wining   Reclining   I'm rucking   I'm fucking   So welcome   It's a party      Angie chalks another blue   Mother smiles she did it too   Chitters chat and gossips lash   Posers pose, pressmen flash, flash      Smiles polluted with false charm   Locking on to Royal arms   Society columns now ensured   Returns to mingle with the crowds   Oh, what a crowd      Oh, punting on the cam   Oh please do come they say   Beagling on the downs   Oh please so come they say      Garden party held today they say   Oh please do come   Oh please do come, they say