The two-step it drug like a ball and chain   While the band was playing something like moon river or somewhere over the rainbow   And I was chasing the black man with the champagne   And I was chasing the black girl with the oysters rockefeller      And it was a highbrow occassion   For no special reason   And nobody knew   Nobody knew   That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor   And the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director   Who poisoned the saxophone section      And if you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   If you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   Red and yellow, black and tan   But white that's the color of the big boss man   It was a twenty-piece orchestra at the warwick hotel   With some fat man from the opera who tried to sing misty   And it was black men and black boys in white ties and tails   And mascara and rouge and fake fingernails      If you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   If you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   Red and yellow, black and tan   But white that's the color of the big boss man      They had them everywhere man   They had one on every foot and every hand   And they was all saying yes sir   And right away ma'am   And they was picking up plates   And they was pouring wine   And they was checking umbrellas   And making shoes shine   And they was handing out towels in the washroom   For a quarter      And it was an acceptable level of ecstasy   As far as everyone could see   But nobody knew   That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor   And the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director   Who poisoned the saxophone section      And if you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   If you ain't the big daddy   You ain't nobody   Red and yellow, black and tan   But white that's the color of the big boss man