I wrote this song late last night about my brother and all his might   And you would be so very kind to listen to these words I've written   About the boy who seems quite smitten, but like no other you will find   'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind      He's Laurel, he's Hardy, he's the life of the party   And he's got great taste in furniture   Wakes up at noon, plays the piano till he swoons, goes out for food   'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind   But I gotta know why      Three years before me, you came out and cried   Boy, not a girl, where'd you get all that pride?   You are so very thin and I've always wanted to fit into your pants   Photogenic at first glance, but got something missing for romance      We share a mother, we do and a daddy too   Home on [unverified] avenue and a melancholy mood   With a rhapsody in blue   'Cause, baby, I know the reasons why we were unkind      First born son, son of a gun   I love you even more than when the song was begun   First born son, son of a gun   I love you even more than when the song was begun