Started out of necessity   We were so broke and so hungry   In this world of food for cash   Got no choice its stuff and dash      Now we got that dread disease   Bulging pockets full of cheese   The narcs are at the electric door   I drop the goods right on the floor      [Chorus:]   I'm a kleptomaniac   We're all kleptomaniacs   Never ever give it back   Hey asshole what you looking at   (Steal or starve is where it's at)      Franco's got a special coat   Stole enough juice to fill a moat   Al's ripping off some smokes   Reshelving those half empty cokes      Cruise the aisles and pocket goods   They'd jail us if they only could   Get the cashier's dirty looks   She knows we're all a bunch of crooks      [Chorus]      Your inventory's short at Hughes   Cala Foods is paying dues   Safeway's filing Chapter Eleven   I pray we don't gotta rip off heaven      We ain't telling you what to do   Just saying what we been through   Don't come crying to us for bail   When they drag your ass on down to jail      [Chorus]