Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends   All through their high school days   Both members of the 4H club   Both active in the FFA      After graduation Mary Anne went out looking   For a bright new world   Wanda looked all around this town   And all she found was Earl      Well, it wasn't two weeks after she got married   That Wanda started getting abused   She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses   And make-up to cover a bruise      Well, she finally got the nerve to file for divorce   She let the law take it from there   But Earl walked right through that restraining order   And put her in intensive care      Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta   On a red eye midnight flight   She held Wanda's hand as they worked out a plan   And it didn't take long to decide      That Earl had to die   Goodbye Earl, you're feeling weak   Why don't you lay down and sleep Earl?      The cops, they came to bring Earl in   They searched the house high and low   Then they tipped their hats and said, "Thank you ladies   If you hear from him let us know"      Well, the weeks went by   And spring turned to summer, summer faded into fall   And it turns out he was a missing person   Who nobody missed at all      So the girls bought some land and a roadside stand   Out on highway 109   They sell Tennessee ham and strawberry jam   And they don't lose any sleep at night      'Cause Earl had to die   Goodbye Earl, we need a break   Let's go out to the lake, Earl      We'll pack a lunch   Stuff you in the trunk, Earl   Well, is that all right?   Good, let's go for a ride, Earl      Ride, ride