(richard thompson)      Valerie you put me on the rack   Valerie you'll give me a heart attack   You say that I'm history   You say I'm no good   Then you want to be like two babes in the wood   That's what I wouldn't call playing to the gallery   I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for valerie   Valerie why don't you put that down   Valerie you're gonna choke and drown   If you don't give up off this junk food jag   They're gonna take you home in a body bag   I can't stand to see one more calorie   I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for valerie   Well I'm soft in the head and I give her hard cash   She spends all my money on junk and trash   Nylon fur and plastic shoes   And fifty-seven things she's never gonna use   Never, never gonna use...valerie   She's got a figure like this, lips like that   Red fingernails, teeth like a cat   I know she's going to be the ruin of me   She's got me running on nervous energy   Runnin' on nervous energy   Valerie she wants to move out of town   Valerie she wants the money down   Valerie she wants leopard skin this and tiger skin that   Matching luggage and a matching hat   I can't afford her on my salary   I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for valerie   I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for valerie