So assuming that this weekend there's a part of me thats thinkin of coming up to join you   You know I sure, I wouldnt want to.. Ruin all your chances on your one night stand romances   Doing tequila shots, I always loved you but it was never enough      And while your licking salt off of each other   Know that I'll be wishing   Throwing some over my shoulder      Hoping for sores to form upon your lips   So the alcohol burns more with every sip   Are you burning now?   Dial 911 emergency to cool you, cool you down      And when you wake tommorow morning with a hangover from hell   Don't bother calling me, theres no need for you to kiss and tell   Because tonight will be my night, I'm calling all my friends   The boys are going out tonight      The potion in our bottles it will be singing me to sleep   The worm at the bottom, it's taunting me to be a creep      It says "Hey man, stand up for yourself"   "Hey man, I've got a plan for you, it's working oh so well"      I picked up the pay phone and I held the zero down   Please operator, collect call to Allentown   The call came back rejected, but that operator was kind   Enough to talk to me and get me through to the middle of.. (The night)      Yeah, so tonight, will be my night   I'm calling all my friends, the boys are going out tonight.