Lord, I quit the drinkin', the smokin' an' the honky-tonk life.   The day that a ring an' a preacher made her my wife.   Yeah, an' I said: "I do", but I didn't have a clue,   How I'd miss all the whiskey an' women.   I tried to be true,m but it's all I can do,   Keepin' up with the Jonesin'.      Man, this hectic, domestic lifestyle takes a while to adjust.   Ah, she don't seem to remember that old rowdy rambler I was.   'Cause she calls up her friends an' tells them,   How good I been doin'.   But the truth is I'm goin' out of my mind,   Keepin' up with the Jonesin'.      An' I miss gettin' high, an' stayin out all night,   With all my old friends.   An' I miss the liquor, the bartenders,   The fights, the girls an' the bands.   It wouldn't be so damned hard,   If I didn't know what I'm missin'.   She don't understand, I'm doin' all that I can,   Keepin' up with the Jonesin'.      Instrumental break.   Yeah, tell me what you know about it, possum.      Whoa it gets so hard when I know what I'm missin'.   Sometimes I give in, start over again,   Keepin' up with the Jonesin'.      Son, I understand, it's a helluva man,   Keepin' up with the Jonesin'.      Aw man, Thank you Mr Jones, I sure 'nough appreciate the ride.   Hey is this, this a new tractor.   That a satellite radio, air-conditioning, heater.   Oh, a cooler.