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You never really looked certain
In a rented wedding suit from burton's;
You kicked a football into the net curtains
And broke your mother's heart.
You used to be the family favourite
But now you keep on keeping up the neighbours
Selling e's to all the cheesy quavers
The smiths died with tom jones

Colchester christopher,
Sweetness and vinegar,
Gold rings and new trainers to
Grey borstal pullover;

Always someone getting on your nerves,
Making jokes you shouldn't have overheard
There's always someone asking to get hurt
With your snooker stick

Colchester christopher
Sweetness and vinegar
Gold rings and new trainers to
Grey borstal pullover

Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour
Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour

Colchester christopher
Sweetness and vinegar
Gold rings and new trainers to
Grey borstal pullover

Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour
Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour

Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour
Christopher from colchester
Was a born f-f-f-failure

Christopher from colchester
Time off for good behaviour
Christopher from colchester
Was a born f-f-f-failure

Christopher...
You never really looked certain   In a rented wedding suit from burton's;   You kicked a football into the net curtains   And broke your mother's heart.   You used to be the family favourite   But now you keep on keeping up the neighbours   Selling e's to all the cheesy quavers   The smiths died with tom jones      Colchester christopher,   Sweetness and vinegar,   Gold rings and new trainers to   Grey borstal pullover;      Always someone getting on your nerves,   Making jokes you shouldn't have overheard   There's always someone asking to get hurt   With your snooker stick      Colchester christopher   Sweetness and vinegar   Gold rings and new trainers to   Grey borstal pullover      Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour   Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour      Colchester christopher   Sweetness and vinegar   Gold rings and new trainers to   Grey borstal pullover      Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour   Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour      Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour   Christopher from colchester   Was a born f-f-f-failure      Christopher from colchester   Time off for good behaviour   Christopher from colchester   Was a born f-f-f-failure      Christopher...