My auntie's in the parlour sipping sherry from a paper cup   And father'd bite your head off, he's working up to nine o'clock   Sister's only sixteen and she thinks she's on the shelf   And mother says don't worry, you've always got your health   You've always got your health      Times ain't what they used to be, but then they never were   Looking forward to the good old days in my rocking chair   If I knew ten years ago the things that I know now   I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how   I'd understand where and when and wonder why and how      At three o'clock we'd hear the bell, it never rang before it's time   To the back seat of the bus, making faces at the cars behind   Join the conversation, but we never had the nerve   Children should be seen they said, and never should be heard   Should be seen and never heard      I fell in love at seventeen, both of us mature and wise   Couldn't put two words together, but I thought the sun shone from her eyes   Ended at the altar when I took the wedding vow   Went running to the mirror, saw the wrinkles on my brow   Saw the wrinkles on my brow      I gave up on religion for the better, maybe for the worse   Avoiding Father Murphy, his blessings always were a curse   Life was getting colder so I bought a winter coat   And jumped off the nearest bridge, what a time to learn to float   What a time to learn to float      There's a bad girl down the street and she is standing by the factory gate   She said she'd fall in love some day, but up til then she'd have to wait   Settle for a husband and a family saloon   And 2.7 children and collecting Mills & Boon   Collecting Mills & Boon