to completely dissolve,    what method is used    i cannot sleep,    my hands are bruised   there's a hole in the wall,    torn up anew    one dead eye,    the colour of you      to vanish for life    and promise to stay    away from the knowing,    bird in a cage   i'd give so much    for the courage to go   if i ask for your help,    then you will know      so help me disappear   or to believe in a change   no way out of here   that i can see   or the nightmares that burn   into my head at night   make them disappear   so i can breathe      looked out the window twice,    just to be sure   that noone was standing    outside the door   but it's just as calm    as it was before   they're all gone now,    not there anymore      isolated myself    for the sake of freedom   i clenched my fist    for the sake of kindness   i read a book full of strange   words   loneliness is a disease