I've wined and dined on Mulligan Stew   And never wished for turkey   As I hitched and hiked and grifted too   From Maine to Albuquerque      Alas, I missed the Beaux Arts Ball   And what is twice as sad   I was never at a party   Where they honored Noel Ca'ad      But social circles spin too fast for me   My 'Hobohemia' is the place to be      I get too hungry for dinner at eight   I like the theater but never come late   I never bother with people I hate   That's why the lady is a tramp      I don't like crap games with barons and earls   Won't go to Harlem in ermine and pearls   Won't dish the dirt with the rest of the girls   That's why the lady is a tramp      I like the free, fresh wind in my hair   Life without care, I'm broke, it's o'k   Hate California, it's cold and it's damp   That's why the lady is a tramp      I go to Coney, the beach is divine   I go to ballgames, the bleachers are fine   I follow Winchell and read every line   That's why the lady is a tramp      I like a prizefight that isn't a fake   I love the rowing on Central Park lake   I go to Opera and stay wide awake   That's why the lady is a tramp      I like the green grass under my shoes   What can I lose? I'm flat, that's that   I'm all alone when I lower my lamp   That's why the lady, that's why the lady   That's why the lady is a tramp