Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh   Edwin Meese, Edwin Meese,   him and his flock of Canadian geese,   are flyin' to the south side of town.   They're comin' to close me down   cuz they can't get it up anymore.   (Come on down, come on down   come on down to the Pornoshop)   They're tryin' to close my store.   They're comin' down to try to bust me   but they can't take away my inventory.   Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh      Come on in, we got private booths   Where you can wear a leisure chute   Come on in, we'll give you rope   so you can jack off while you're shootin' dope   I own the door . . . .   I mop the floor . . . .   Nobody uses the ashtrays anymore      I been workin' here all my life   I ain't even got no wife   but I got inflatable dolls   We got vibrators up the ass   You can come and make a pass   Slap the monkey while you wait   Come on in and suck the bait   Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh      Miss McDonald had some porn, E-I-E-I-O   And on that farm she had a master, E-I-E-I-O   With a dead cock here and a dead clit there   Here a clit there a cock everywhere a crock pot   Miss McDonald served some porn, E-I-E-I-O      Over 33 dead after they were served! It's not as horrid as   them awful hamburgers or disgusting french fries, you crock pot!      We put everything in a brown paper bag   Because we are purveyors of fine smut   They tried to get me to open a Pizza Hut   Instrumental break! ("Oh, I love your big cock!")      We got tapestries of Charlie Monoxide givin' head to a parrot,   not to mention his priceless erotica collection, international in scope!      I don't care if you're from France   or Spain or Belgium with a pack in your pants   I'll be workin' around the clock   If I get bored I'll play with my cock   My job to me will never matter   cuz I'll end up with the pancake batter   Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh      Here comes Ed Meese with his Russian babe   She's from Kiev, her name is Gabe   And she's sufferin' from a severe case of Soviet jewelry   We never close (we never close)   Cuz we know you gotta hose   (and because we know there will never be a   separation between SHOP and STATE)      Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong   Ding dong the shop is closed   The Pornoshop, the pornoshop   Ding dong, the pornoshop is closed!