The telephone rings I grab all my things   And I take off down the street   The old man on the corner must have started kinda early   Trying to rake up something to eat   I toss him a dollar cut across to the market   Ain't got a lot of time to waste   There's two men yelling at each other at the counter   Getting up in one another's face      Welcome to this world, this crazy, crazy world   Welcome to this world, my crazy, crazy world      My brother-in-law told me that the baby came early   And everybody's doing just fine   The elevator door, it opens third floor   So many relatives of mine   I walked up to the window, it took me just a minute   To find the last name there   That tiny little angel she can't hear me   But still I gotta say to her      Welcome to this world, this crazy, crazy world   Welcome to this world, my crazy, crazy world      Heading home in the night, I swear in my sight   Is a man on roller skates   He's got a llama on a leash crossing the street   Man only 'round this place   I see up ahead lights flashing red   Another threat streets closed here   But freedom rules and you know we refuse   To live our lives in fear      Welcome to this world, this crazy, crazy world   Welcome to this world, my crazy, crazy world