If you were a Cherokee, I might have reservations   I'm in love with the paleness of your skin   If you were a spaceman, I'd be jealous of your spaceship   It would be so intimidating      If you were the Queen of Rome, I'd want to move to Rome and,   Wouldn't that be ro-man-tic?   If you were the principal, then I would stab the teacher   I want to be in your detention      Sober as I throw my woo's but girl, if you were booze, I'd be an alcoholic!   Alcoholic (x3)      If you were a loan-shark, I would never re-pay you    I would want you to break my legs   If you were the bartender, I'd catch on pretty quickly   You were putting something in my gin      Sober as I throw my woo's but girl, if you were booze, I'd be an alcoholic!   Alcoholic (x3)      You want a piece of me, I want a piece of you   I got the peace of mind to see what you can do   Act right now, supplies are running, last call is coming fast      If you were a fireman, I'd pull every fire-alarm   Just to watch you drive up the drive-way   If you were the worst rockstar to ever grace the planet,   I'd travel all over just to watch you play      Sober as I throw my woo's but girl, if you were booze, I'd be an alcoholic!   Alcoholic (x3)      I'd be an alcoholic...(x4)