Well three young couples were ridin' along   They had the directions messed up wrong   So they stopped in Lovelock to take a snooze   They were on their way to a friend's wedding   They had no idea what they were getting into   When through town they happened to cruise      I was working as a gas station attendant   When a couple pretty girls and some men did   Ask me if I knew where they could spend the night   Well, I sent 'em up the road to the B&B   It's the only place in town, you see   But they were greeted warmly by death, horror and fright   Yeah      Well this used to be such a quiet little town   We never had too much trouble around here   'Til that spirit was released   And we were haunted by the deceased   And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here      Oh an esoteric drifter was along for the ride   He had a backpack with mysteries at his side   That would tell the tales of the Kuman Thong   Now some of you might dare say   I saw a Kuman Thong on a beach on spring break   Oh so sad that this spirit has to prove you wrong      Well the record clerk said with her own eyes   She watched a man named Robert Wise   Dig up the corpse of his new born son   And he confined it to a wooden box   Using only a ribbon for a lock   Not knowing what that spirit would become      Well this used to be such a quiet little town   We never had too much trouble around here   'Til that spirit was released   And we were haunted by the deceased   And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here      Now the hotel chef without reasonin'   Perhaps he was lookin' for seasonin'   Opened the box and became a victim quick   And our young friends went into town   Just tryin' to track some answers down   But they got in some trouble at a bar while shootin' stick      Well I lost my gig and I lost my band   But I still played on, and goddamn   I had a room full of ghouls who were checkin' out my sound   Well this one guy by the name of Johnny   Sort of a leader for us zombies   Said that we should go hunt the rest of the young ones down   Yeah      Well this used to be such a quiet little town   We never had too much trouble around here   'Til that spirit was released   And we were haunted by the deceased   And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here      Our heroes were brave and full of verve   And the drifter thought he knew how to curve   Those possessed by separating their brains   He said they had to dig up the plot   Where Wise was laid down to rot   And carve his bones 'til they resembled blades      Now Sara must have been workin' for NASA   Buildin' a shotgun that would easily blast ya   Out of pipes and wires and ammo and bullets of lead   And David and Kate dated for four years   He screwed the bride to be and Kate shed tears   'Til Dave got possessed and beat her over the head   Yeah      Well this used to be such a quiet little town   We never had too much trouble around here   'Til that spirit was released   And we were haunted by the deceased   And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here      Well we battled hard at the B&B   And we all had crushes on sweet Melody   But she had a thing for that drifter was he hung?   And Melody boned Johnny with a firm femur   Johnny died quick, he wasn't a screamer   And the wooden box burning ceremony had begun      Now Sara, Melody and the drifter   They couldn't drive out of Lovelock any swifter   They were the three remaining unpossessed people   And that wooden box that would be an urn   Well it never really started to burn   Leaving room for more zombies and a sequel   Hey, what do you know?      This used to be such a quiet little town   Yes it did!   We never had too much trouble around here   'Til that spirit was released   And we were haunted by the deceased   And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here   I said there's all this crazy shit that's going down here   Oh yeah, there's all this crazy shit that's going down here   I gotta get outta town!