Brendan Benson - Unfortunate guy      This is the sound of the worlds smallest violin   Ive seen worse than the worst trouble youve been in   Youre the greatest sufferer that almost never was born   Youve always been the object of ridicule and scorn      You hold the title of champion stepchild   Your father died in prison and your mother ran wild   Maybe you should write a book on pieces of confetti   Coz it makes even Shakespeares plots seem meaningless and petty      Youve had it rough youve made it very clear   That you dont give up youve persevered (no matter how severe)      Please dont go on youre gonna make me cry   Youve got to be   The most unfortunate guy   Dont go on youre gonna make us cry   The most unfortunate guy      Ive heard some sad luck stories, but yours tops the list   And you lead the race for the worlds unluckiest   You wear that crown of thorns and sit upon that throne   You rule a kingdom of despair and you do it all alone      You have our sympathy our deepest regrets   You hold the key, which unlocks misfortunes chest   Youre giving us the poor mouth what do you stand to gain   Youre soakin up the sun after selling us the rain      This is the sound of the worlds smallest violin   Ive seen worse than the worst trouble youve been in   Youre the greatest sufferer that almost never was born   Youve always been the object of ridicule and scorn      You hold the title of champion stepchild   Your father died in prison and your mother ran wild   Maybe you should write a book on pieces of confetti   Coz it makes even Shakespeares plots seem meaningless and petty      Youve had it rough youve made it very clear   That you dont give up youve persevered (no matter how severe)      Please dont go on youre gonna make me cry   Youve got to be   The