Christmas comes just once a year   With all its yuletide joy and cheer   But there’s one thing I'd like to say   Is that I hate Christmas Day      It’s time for everybody to have a Christmas party   Everyone but me I'll step outside   Boycott your office party, no secret Santa for me   Mistletoe makes me sneeze anyway   'Cause I don't wanna go where happy days are snow   I'd rather stay where Frosty melts in the sun   July 4 parade, a Lynchburg Lemonade   An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun      Deck the halls with boughs of holly   'Tis the season to be jolly but   I hate Christmas   I'm glad it only comes one time a year      It’s time for everybody to head out Christmas shopping   Everyone but me I'll stay inside   No presents under your tree that has a nametag from me   And it makes my gifts so easy to hide   I don't wanna go where shopping lines are slow   I'd rather stay at home with a frosty cold one   A bud on ice in May, a lazy summer day   An alcohol-a-day by the pool in the sun      Deck the halls with boughs of holly   'Tis the season to be jolly but   I hate Christmas   I'm glad it only comes one time a year      It was the night before Christmas and all through the house   All the creatures was chillin’ like Flint drinkin’ stout   I woke from my sleep, heard 'here comes the boom   I knew that Santa would be comin' soon   On Dasher on Donner, Commit, on Blitzen   I yelled 'shut up ya'll,' but they wouldn't listen   And then he came down with his belly of jello.   He says, "Where the ladies at ‘cause I'm a real jolly fellow"   Then he gave me a wink and was quick out of sight   Merry Christmas to all, and to all a super deeky duper fly night      Deck the halls with boughs of holly   'Tis the season to be jolly but   I hate Christmas   I'm glad it only comes one time a year      Deck the halls with boughs of holly   'Tis the season to be jolly but   I hate Christmas   I'm glad it only comes one time a year      ‘Cause I hate Christmas    I'm glad it only comes one time a year   ‘Cause I hate Christmas    I'm glad it only comes one time a year