Benny was the bouncer at the palais de dance  He'd slash your granny's face up given half a chance.  He'd sell you back the pieces, all for less than half a quid  He thought he was the meanest-  Until he met with savage sid.    Now sidney was a greaser with some nasty roots  He poured a pint of guinness over benny's boots  Benny looked at sidney:  Sidney stared right back in his eye.  Sidney chose a switchblade  And benny got a cold meat pie.  Oh! what a terrible sight,  Much to the people's delight.  One hell of a fight.    Sidney grabbed a hatchet, buried it .... in benny's head.  The people gasped as he bled:  The end of a ted?     Well, they dragged him from the wreckage of the palais in bits.  They tried to stick together all the bits that would fit.  But some of him was missing  And "part of him" arrived too late,  So now he works for jesus  As the bouncer at st. peter's gate.    these lyrics are submitted by burkul