when we were lost,  we were saving every texture  taking breaths in every silk ray  candlelit nights blurred by dreams i never knew  and the land you crossed in my mind  pointed fingers straight through the back  of my heart  my hardened shell was your only defense,  you swore  "i looked up once and i was enveloped..."  these paths i can't even spell  and i know i used to feel you,  and i know the things you used to say  and all the time  we'd spent  pennies in pools as deep as oceans  and hands in hands as warm as now.  and it seems so unreal,  you're not in these memories.  ..