One, two, three and I come with the redneck style  because you know I get paid by the mile, like Avis  I pave this, Fast save this, everybody smile. . .  And act gracious  see I rob banks, I pull pranks, sometimes I eat  franks and knishes,best wishes, I'm vicious and here  I am again like CNN. Delivery my friend.  Stick 'em up punk, it's the Fun Lovin' Criminal  Yes we bug a lot and my friends is loud and. . .  I'm more freaky than Disco 2000  I scream, I yell, I bark, I bite  I'll hit you with an egg on a hot summer night  I never let the cops get wind of me  I never say die  I never take myself too seriously  Cause everybody knows fat birds don't fly  Stick'em up punk, it's the Fun Lovin' Criminal  Means with the green, murder on your spleen  living in a dream do you know what I mean  goateed indeed, smart like John Steed  I'll steal your girlie and I'll steal your weed  I got so much flavor. . .I always leave you chewin'  I got so many styles you think I'm from the U.N.  I broke into the White House and never got caught  and I'd be Neil Armstrong if I was an astronaut  We're always optimistic about human relations  We've got more friends than my man Peter Gatien  We're always fun loving, so don't start bugging  If your girlie comes up and starts kissing and hugging  Stick'em up punk, it's the Fun Lovin' Criminal