[Teacher]  "J, do you have a Halloween story for the class?"    [Violent J]  "Y-y-yeah, um, there was this boy, and he lived in his house,   and he went to bed one day, and then when he woke up, um,   when he woke up, he was buried up to his head in the dirt,   and he couldn't move, and this man came walking along,   but instead of the man helping him out, the man just started   kicking him and kicking him in his face, over and over,   and then he got the lawnmower, and then he....."    Dick or treat, bon appetit  All the little kiddies running down my street  Gathering candy treats door to door  But they walk past mine, what for?  Probably 'cuz the pumpkins on my porch are real  Real human heads carved out with steel  Cut out the eyes, man, it takes but a minute  Rip out the b-b-b-b-brains and put a candle in it  Maybe they run 'cuz I take 'em inside  Come and meet Mother, two years ago she died  Little boys laugh, 'cuz they think it's just a dummy  But then the smell hits 'em, MMMMM..... smells yummy  Open your bags and I'll give you my treat  Crusty yellow toes off a dead woman's feet  Take me by the hand, and I'll lead you downstairs  And that, little chickies, is where you'll spend the next seven years  Starving and weakening, chained to a wall  Staring at a roach, hoping it will crawl  Into your mouth for a tasty cuisine  Yes, my little friends, it's a Dead Pumpkins Halloween    [Shaggy 2 Dope]  "Awwwwwwwwww, yeah, it's that special time of year, boys and girls,   so come to the pumpkin patch and bring your pantysacks so I can shit in it,   you beeeeeyitch!!!!!"    [Violent J]  Well, I love all the kiddies, but I can't fuck around  Don't come to my door dressed as a clown  'Cuz you never know, I might take it the wrong way  'Cuz I'm the real wicked juggalokaro Violent J  All year 'round, but I love my Halloween  You'll never get an apple or a purple jelly bean  Dropping some chocolates, a licorice snack  Instead you get a deep-fried French poodle nutsack  Peeking out my door, I see no children in sight  Perhaps they're all dead, yesterday was Devil's Night  They burn down the city and they leave it crispy-charred  I light myself on fire and I dance around my backyard  Hungry bellies, I can see where you're at  Sitting on my window, I can turn into a bat  Watching you remove all your little clothesies for bed  I crash through the window and land on your head  Drinking the blood, blood is gone to the bone  But now, I must leave, Mother's calling me home  Up to the moonlight, I'm gone from the scene  Peace to Detroit City and have a Dead Pumpkins Halloween    [Shaggy 2 Dope]  "Yeeeeeeeeah, I'm gonna smash your little candy bags,   only I'm gonna tie 'em around your muthafuckin' necks   and choke you with 'em Wicked Clown style, muthafucka!!!!!"    [Violent J]  "Detroit's in this bitch!!!!!"