I chatted up a blue eye,  One dizzy Friday night,  There was a cherry drop who didn’t wanna stop.    I met a dandelion,  I met a lemon cloud,  I saw a pornographic phonograph spin ‘round.    Chorus:  But there ain’t no one,  Who turns me like you do,  And there ain’t no one,  Who does it like, does it like you (do),  And when we’re goin’,  I like the way you move,  There ain’t no one,  Ain’t no one.    Talked to a digital trick,  Who’s nicknamed ‘Appleseed,’  Who gets down at the Abbey on both knees to please.    I met a razor mouth,  A little vampire,  A little battery who never gets tired.    Chorus    There ain’t no one who compares,  There ain’t no one keeps me high,  There ain’t no one makes me stare,  Like I can’t believe my eyes.  There ain’t no one makes me weak,  Hardly speak, find a drink so I can think,  There ain’t no one,  Ain’t no one.    Chorus