Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes  Long as I have my plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  Through all trials and tribualtions  We will travel every nation  With my plastic Jesus I'll go far    CHORUS  Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  Through all trials and tribulations  We will travel every nation  With my plastic Jesus I'll go far    Riding down a thorooughfare  With his nose up in the air  A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind  Trouble coming He don't see  He just keeps His eye on me  ANd any other thing that lies behind  Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus  Riding on the dasboard of my car  Though the sunshine on his back  Makes Him peel, chip and crack  A little patching keeps Him up to par    When pedestrians try to cross  I let them know who's boss  I never blow the horn or give them warning  I ride all over town  Trying to run them down  And it's seldom that they live to see the morning  Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  His halo fits just right  And I use it for sight  And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far    If I weave around at night  And the police think I'm tight  They'll never find my bottle, though they ask  Plastic Jesus shelters me  For His head comes off, you see  He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask  Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  Ride with me and have a dram  Of the blood of the Lamb  Plastic Jesus is a holy bar    Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  But I think he'll have to go  His magnet ruins my radio  And if we wreck he'll leave a scar    Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus  Riding on the dashboard of my car  Once His robe was snowy white  Not it isn't quite so bright  Stained by the smoke of my cigar