Hey.... Hey...Hey      You did it, you got it   You wowed the world   Of casting agents and cowgirls   Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself      Girl, I'm a walking plan-crash to your moms and dads   Ostentatious and crass pulling the gauze off your scabs   Bitch, I negate the myth of the 'great black boyfriend'   In the Polaroid at the get-together   Wearing a corduroy vest-sweater   So don't get that engagement ring engraved   Cuz before we met you thought that hoodrats laid eggs   And that rappers were just sky-pirates with peg legs   But I kick it with you simply for the shits and giggles, playful innuendos      You thought, "he's just an uber-dred for the federal fiscal cap"   but after brunch, you'll need 2 Sudafed's and a disco nap   After I drain your insides with a crazy straw   You ain't my baby doll- "cuz nigga you reek of coffee shop blend"   My body's a lollipop that caters to the miss polyglot's whim   With addictive agents that outweigh oxycodones   And our phobias perfectly fit   It takes a quirky chick with curvy hips to petrify this working-stiff      You did it, you got it   You wowed the world   Of casting agents and cowgirls   Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself   While I'm still on shelf   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags      I'll be today's avatar of the prefab   Then end up a child star in rehab   It's like a bed-and-breakfast I'm sending a text message on my key pad   Saying, "I hav no more to say to my ex-manager(slash)sea hag divorcee   Except eat shit and die"   My daily commute ends with a fender-bender   Cuz no one acknowledges my ten-year tenure   I've got the know-how the thrill your scene   But they want someone lowbrow, a philistine   With iron-on irony for Viacom's white honkies   They'll send you a girl wearing tight thongs under nylon gi's   "let's all hit!"   but I'm not for the gaudy gangbang   the thought of it turns my member to a soggy plantain   and shit, I get off on news leads   and you eat pet mouse meat, set and poised with sex toys   in your penthouse suite believing you're Lou Reed   I spit used reeds out the wet mouthpiece   Even when sex appeal is taboo, electric bills are past due   My head is clear of engineered, election year snafu      You did it, you got it   You wowed the world   Of casting agents and cowgirls   Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself   While I'm still on shelf   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags      I used to say, fuck it   Wouldn't placate the functionaries   To busy making playdates with buxom secretaries   but I hope that my homies don't laugh, my choreographed dance steps   Are a little effeminate for a sociopath   We've been airbrushed so much we look like a claymation zoo   I'm a voice over on your Playstation 2   But in my hey-day my ethical fiber would turn stages into firewood      You did it, you got it   You wowed the world   Of casting agents and cowgirls   Fess up you're dressed up to kill yourself   While I'm still on shelf   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags   They want an everyman milking the oldest gags   Spilling the contents of a Pepsi can on folded flags