It's been a while Since you last met me Aeons ago On ooh crikey, Right back then  I was a boring git Who had a social life As  rare as a rocking horse shit, Bob fucking Catley Was bardly the word Nuno  Bettencourt A right flamin' nerd, But now I've  returned A true nineties bloke Because I've risen my head An even bigger joke,  My names Mr. Formica My middle name is  probably Keith I've got my flash & Mr.Sheen I am now armed to the teeth, To cook  the food And watch the kids Wash out the  undies Remove the skids, Polish the windows And then watch this morning Go  flower arranging I'm right fuckin' boring, The  moral of this story Is don't listen to bands who are shit Like Magnum for  example 'Cos you'll become a real wet git, At the  start of this song My life had improved But I've just realised That it hasn't