He stinks to high heaven, half covered with hair  And grunts just like some old orang-utan  While she smells of clean skin and a trace of jasmine  And speaks like a first rate librarian    His stomach hangs out, there's a hump on his back  He eats like Conan the Barbarian  While she keeps herself trim, and her posture is prim  Her manners are quite cosmopolitan    He laughs like a donkey and farts in the bed  And flips cigarettes in the can  But she always acts nice, with no visible vice  Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?    He hangs out in bars and he tells stupid jokes  And seems to think he's a comedian  But she's clever, polite, stays sober all night  And sips on her one Presbyterian    He drives a gas hog like Attila the Hun  And woe to the luckless pedestrian  While she prefers bikes and bird-watching hikes  And sailing and riding equestrian    He has a name like Duane or Leroy  Hers is Vanessa or Anne  Hers sounds like a song  But Duane is all wrong  Tell me, what does a woman see in a man?    (BRIDGE)  Doesn't she know that she's unique  Doesn't she know that he's just a freak -- of nature  Overbearing, insecure, wanting love but so unsure  Loving her because she's pure    And yet, dreaming of orgies in Vegas or Cannes  He preens and strikes poses Olympian  While she shoulders the cross  And lets him play boss  His nurse and long-suffering Samaritan    He brags about knocking the world on its ass  But oh, when the shit hits the fan  She'll bail him out, she's the one with the clout  Only she knows how humankind ever began    What does a woman see in a man?  What does a woman see in a man?