Shopping spree for the family tree   Haven't seen your family tree in quite a while    Too many sandwiches and wine    Sherry stains down your best mans tie   What a speech       The band arrives   The granny's cry   The singer's tongues in the bar maids mouth   What a voice      Grandpa drunk a drop or two    And his head's still sunk in the portaloo    What a man      You bought a sequin dress for your chichen breast    The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight    You got a diamond ring and the man who sings   The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice    And that's just tonight       The blue rinsed hairs lift up their chairs    The band's too loud    They're off down stairs    What a noise   The bride and groom they dance their dance    And the singer mimes there's still a chance    The bar maid smiles      You bought a sequin dress for your chichen breast    The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight    You got a diamond ring and the man who sings   The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice    And that's just tonight      You bought a sequin dress for your chichen breast    The disco's late and he's overpaid tonight    You got a diamond ring and the man who sings   The man who sings made love to the barmaid twice      Oh Grandpa drunk a drop or two    His head's still sunk in the portaloo again   The bride and groom they dance their dance    The singer mimes there's still a chance tonight    And the bar maid smiles