Well I wish I had some memories   That I'd keep inside my trunk   I wish I had a nickel for every beer I've drunk   And I wish I had me a sailing ship   That'd take me over the sea.   I wish I could talk you in to coming home with me   Is this the part where I came in   I've heard this song before   Had a couple too many   but I think I can find the door   And I do not know your name my friend   But I've seen that face before   Well I saw it in the Jail House   and I saw in the War   and I saw it my mirror   Well just a couple of times before   I wish I was the Candyman   sweet as I could be   In every town the ladies hang 'round   Just to get a taste of me   Iwish I was an opry star   Or had me a Ph. D.   I wish I had the common sense   to be satisfied with me   Is this the part where I came in   I've heard this song before   Had a couple too many   but I think I can find the door   And I do not know your name my friend   But I've seen that face before   Well I saw it in the Jail House   and I saw in the War   Well I saw it my mirror   Well just a couple of times before   (instrumental)   I wish I had a magic pocket, That'd keep all my money in   I wish I knew a good excuse for all of my mortal sins   Well they say 'to know the best in life, you gotta know the worst   I wish that I had been the clown, who thought up that one first   Is this the part where I came in   I've heard this song before   Had a couple too many   But I think I can find the door   And I do not know your name my friend   But I've seen that face before   Hey, I saw it in the Jail House   and I saw in the War   Well I saw it in the mirror   A couple of times before   Let me tell you   I saw it in the Jail House   it was on the post office door   and I saw it on my mirror   a couple of times before   Good People I saw it in the jail house   Saw it in the war   lord I saw it in the mirror ....fade