It feels like it was yesterday   When I explained to you   from my tender teenage point of view   Ain't noone ever gonna notice you   till you change your mousy ways      Just take a day or two   to rethink your girlish attitudes   I know someone who's been watching you   I'll be sending him your way      Hope you like my Uncle Runkle   He's the only kraut in the neighborhood   Hope you like my Uncle Runkle   He'd never ever have it any other way      And when he comes for you   wear the lipstick like I showed you to   With some nylon stockings and a new hairdo   you could be your mother's age      Just don't unbolt the door   till he tells you what he's asking for   You know everyone will say you're a whore   if you let him have his way      Hope you like my Uncle Runkle   He's the only kraut in the neighborhood   Hope you like my Uncle Runkle   He'd never ever have it any other way         ...and when he loves you the night sky goes twinkle starry blue   and when he kissed you your whole life was all over...         Why'd you unbolt the door   then pretend you didn't ask for more   There's a whole society behind your door   don't you have something to say   (you shouldn't say it anyway)      Don't you tell on Uncle Runkle   He's the oldest grouch in the neighborhood   Don't you tell on Uncle Runkle   He'd never ever have it any other way