So let me tell you how this all came to be   I'm doing this here rap for your safety   So all you kids don't mess up like me   And be disowned by your family      So check it, this is how it all began   I was chillin', eating some raisin bran   I decided it was time to get a tan   So I grabbed my scissors and then I ran      I forgot my house was two stories tall   I missed the first step and began to fall   What happened next, I could not recall   I was impaled by the scissors and thats not all      I thought I could get some help on the street   I got run over by a fucking jeep   The rest of this mess I will not repeat   To help keep your lunch, I've been discrete      He's the boxman      I woke up in a strange location   Some dirty bum had an explination   Apparently he had no education   He turned my body into an abomination      He said he found me on the road nearly dead   It was necessary he fix my torso and my head   He had no human parts so he used a box instead   The news was so overwhelming that I fled      He's the boxman      It's hard to live with a body of cardboard   You'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored   But since the accident I've always been ignored   I trust one day that my hope will be restored      I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me   But of course no girl likes a guy made of tree   I got so desperate that I cry and I plea   I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree      I guess it ain't that bad to be a box like me   Hey, at least I ain't Mary-Kate or Ashley   If I ever want to travel across the sea   I disguise myself as a package and fly for free      Well the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as hell   So that's the end of my tale, so long and farewell      He's the boxman