I was born a little premature   Mom just couldn't take no more   Had no time to learn to cry   Goodbye, Mama, got to fly   Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye      Entered school when I was two   PhD'd that afternoon   Never entered any sports   Didn't look too good in shorts   Got divorced when I was four      CHORUS   I've seen everything there is   I've done everything there is   I've met everyone but Liz   Now I've even met ol' Liz   No time for relationship   Skip the foreplay, let 'er rip   You gotta beat the clock, beat the clock,   Beat the clock, beat the clock      I did lots of travelling   Parts of me unraveling   The Army then rejected me   Said I had two flat feet   Wore them out when I was three      Too bad there ain't ten of you   Then I'd show you what I'd do   I could cheat on five of you   And be faithful to you too   But there's only one of you      CHORUS