Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no      Mr. Jones has a little problem   If I had eyes I'd see that it was me   He's the size of a man with the potential of a boy   Not what God had made a child of His to be      I'm afraid that he'll amount to all of nothing   The joy of reading Yates he'll never know   And in the rat race twirl of our computer guided world   He stands no chance of winning let alone to place or show      So lock him up   Throw away the key, boys   Mr. Jones is not like you or me   Lock him up, tight   'Cuz if he had the chance he might   Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no      Mr. Jones wanted to be married   It seemed like such a cute thing at the time   Two peas in a pod   Two of a kind   They'd never have to ask each other, "What is on your mind?"      It seemed a simple way to make him happy   And happy's such a simple way to be   And if they kept to themselves like two books upon a shelf   The kind you judge by the cover and never take the time to read      So lock 'em up   Throw away the key, boys   The Joneses, they're not like you or me   Lock 'em up, tight   'Cuz if they had the chance they might   Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be   Oh no      Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones   We're elated to inform you   Though you've failed to meet the standards   We've a place where we'll reform you   It's a ways outside of town   But the distance has its uses   Close enough to make the effort   Far enough to make excuses      Lock 'em up   Throw away the key, boys   The Joneses, they're not like you or me   Lock 'em up, tight   'Cuz if they had the chance they might   Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no      Mrs. Jones wants to have a baby   She says that as a woman it's her right   Yes we tried to tell her   I guess that she forgot   When she and Mr. Jones were at the doctor's, tied the knot      Why can't she just be happy in her own world   And we can all be happy here in ours   And we can still help out   Even go as far as to stop off at the Safeway drop some pennies in the jar      So lock her up   Throw away the key, boys   Mrs. Jones is not like you or me   Lock her up, tight   'Cuz if she had the chance she might   Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be      So lock 'em up   Throw away the key, boys   The Joneses, they're not like you or me   Lock 'em up, tight   'Cuz if they had the chance they might   Show us that we're wrong and that's the one thing we can't be   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no   Oh no, oh no