It's the time of year    Now that Spring is in the air    When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair    Make another song for moronic holidays    That nauseate-ate-ates    In a million different ways    From the shores of Spain    To the coast of Southern France    No matter where you hide    You just can't escape this dance       Hold a chicken in the air    Stick a deckchair up your nose    Buy a jumbo jet    And then bury all your clothes    Paint your left knee green    Then extract your wisdom teeth    Form a string quartet    And pretend your name is Keith       Skin yourself alive    Learn to speak Arapahoe    Climb inside a dog    And behead an eskimo    Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears    Casserole your gran    Disembowel yourself with spears       The disco is vibrating    The sound is loud and grating    Its truly nauseating    Let's do the dance again       Hold a chicken in the air    Stick a deckchair up your nose    Yes you'll hear this song in the holiday discos    And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars    You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars       Skin yourself alive    Learn to speak Arapahoe    Climb inside a dog    And behead an eskimo    Now you've heard it once    Your brain will spring a leak    And though you hate this song    You'll be humming it for weeks       Hold a chicken in the air    Stick a deckchair up your nose    Buy a jumbo jet    And then bury all your clothes    La la la la la    La la la la la la la    La la la la la    La la la la la la laaaaaaa