I'm a smash at cocktail parties   I keep falling on my face    I can't decide which side my heart is   I'm such a damn disgrace    Can't take me anyplace   [can't read the menu]   Can't take me anyplace    [except in French]   Can't take me anyplace   Hide this face   Hide that face   Hide this face   Hide this face      I reinvent behaving badly   I'm extremely commonplace   Although you know I love me madly   I disturb the populace   Can't take me anyplace   Can't take me anyplace   Can't take me anyplace   Hide this face   Hide that face   Hide this face   Hide this face      I'm a subject of contrariety   It's my delicious carapace   But idle gossip never bothered me   I'm the very worst of taste   Can't take me anyplace   Can't take me anyplace   Can't take me anyplace   Can't take me anyplace